To my two sweet peas,
Daddy and I are six months into the parenting two small children gig and life is a roller-coaster. Overall, life is great and we are so blessed to have both of you.
//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.jsLexi, you’re determination for independence is in full swing. You insist on doing everything yourself and for the most part do a pretty good job of it, it may slow us down a little, which is challenging in the game against time everyday (more on that later) but I’m amazed at how capable you are of things. As part of that independence, I’ve noticed your ‘need’ for me is less. I can easily go upstairs or outside for more than ‘a moment’ and know you’ll be just fine on your own. Just this morning, I was showering and you came into the bathroom for a second, but didn’t insist that you actually be in there next to me like you would have six months ago. In fact, I asked you and you politely said , “No thank you.” Mostly, this gets me excited as it is a great sign you’re growing and thriving, but it is also a great reminder to soak in the moments where you still do want me or my help as there will be fewer and fewer in the near future. 
//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.jsWilliam, you have really turned a corner in the past week or so. Now that you can sit up, roll over and sleep through the night you just seem much more content with life. You aren’t constantly squirming in our arms when we hold you and are observant smiling little dude. You smile with your entire face and grace everyone you see with that sweet little grin.
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We love you two to pieces and wouldn’t change anything but boy can days be challenging. I have never felt so disorganized in my life. I feel like I spend all weekend cleaning and organizing from the disheveledness of the week and preparing for the next, hoping it can go a little smoother, but no matter what I do, come Monday it feels like pancakes are flying off the fans. Everyday I feel like I’m racing time. I get up at 5:15 to get myself ready before you two munchkins get up so we can be out the door around 7, but are usually getting out closer to 7:30. By the time we sit in traffic and I drop each of you off at your classrooms, park my car and walk up to my desk, it is 8:45. I have an hour at my desk before I go down and nurse William for the first time, which is usually followed by another session over lunch and then again at 4. It is hard to get work done and be focused with these distractions not to mention the meetings I have between each nursing session. After the last nursing session, I head up to my desk for another 30 minutes or so and then head back down to pick you two up for the day to be on the road by 5:30. We sit in traffic for about an hour getting home at 6:30, rush to make dinner and eat between 7 and 7:30. By then, William is starving and exhausted from not sleeping all day at daycare and goes to bed for the night. We also head upstairs with Lexi to begin your bed routine (potty, brush teeth, read two books, look at our day and you usually throw a tantrum or two into the mix) and hopefully walk out of your room by 8:00, but 8:30-9:00 is more realistic. I then shower and will either open my computer and work for a little to make up the time I missed, maybe watch a little TV, clean up the dinner dishes and be in bed by 10:30. Very often, dishes get neglected for days and I’m only motivated enough to do them because all of my pumping parts are dirty and need to be washed for the next morning. I have this constant battle with time and feel I fail at meeting every ‘deadline’ all day long. I’ve tried to be more relaxed about it, and some days I am, but that usually just means I get to work late, we eat really poor meals or Lexi gets way overtired and makes that evening even more challenging. Sigh. As challenging as the days seem, I try and remind myself that:
- Life is pretty darn good when the things I’m worried about are getting to work and putting Lexi to bed at a decent time.
- Things change so quickly over three to six months and this morning in the shower was a perfect example of that.
In the grand scheme of things, the challenges we’re facing today will quickly be replaced by new challenges, it is just figuring how to get through tomorrow.
For as many sweet moments we have like the photo on the left, we have just as many as the right. Take it easy on us, OK?
Love,
Mommy
Peanut Smiles 