Last official post before I get to write your birth story!!!
Over the last several days, I’ve debated back and forth on whether or not to be induced. Throughout the day, I was in the ‘I’m totally fine and have no symptoms’ camp and this evening I’m in the ‘Holy crap I’m so itchy I can’t sleep camp’ and this internal debate has pretty much been going on inside my head nearly every moment for the last week and I’m kind of going insane.
Overall, I don’t feel the greatest. I’m having a really hard time sleeping, not only because I’m uncomfortable, and the itching but I also seem to have some insomnia and am WIDE-freaking awake until ungodly hours in the night. Two nights ago, I didn’t fall asleep until 4 or 5 in the morning.
I also have these hot spots (usually on my legs) about once a day. It only lasts for a second or two, and from what I can tell, it is just inside my leg (verses being hot to touch the skin) that makes me a little on edge. Auntie Sheila didn’t sound too alarmed by it and couldn’t recall that being a symptom of anything, which made me feel a little better, but I’m still anxious about having a blood clot given the shortness of breath of I have and the fact that I can’t lay on my back at all.
Additionally, I’m also very nauseous. Saturday evening we were out for dinner for your Daddy’s birthday and immediately after ordering our food, I started to feel pretty sick. I had to really focus to keep my mind off the scent of everyone else’s food and not get sick or run out of the restaurant. Finally, when our food came, I pushed it to the side as the thought of it (which it was delicious steak) was repulsive and I didn’t even touch one piece of it. It took me until 1:00 pm the following afternoon to not get nauseous at the thought of it. Last night, I tried to eat pasta salad–no good, jalapeno artichoke dip–no good, crackers–no good, raspberries–no good and essentially just gave up. I’ve also started to gag again when I brush my teeth. I’m full-on waddling and need to boost myself to get up off the couch or from any kind of sitting position. I’m also feeling a lot of pressure when I walk. Combine this with heartburn and difficulty breathing and I’m kind of a hot mess.
Other thoughts roaming around my head include what is labor going to look like with you? Can I get the epidural right away and just have them crank the pitocin to meet you quickly? Will I need to walk around a bit to help jump kick labor before the epi? What happens if I don’t progress and the pitocin doesn’t work? At what point do they decide to do a C-section?
On a slightly my upbeat topic, I’ve received many questions about when you’re due, which is usually followed by, ‘is this your first’ (as long as I don’t have one of your big siblings with me). When I told one woman, it was my 3rd, she looked astounded and followed up with, ‘Wow, you just look so young.’ I’m not sure if the look was more ‘your crazy for having that many kids’ and she covered it up well or if I really look ‘that’ young.
We’ve also had a very relaxing couple of days prior to your arrival. The big kids were camping with Grammy and Papa so Daddy and I were able to get the house really clean, sleep in late, take naps and just relax.
I’ve also spent a lot of time praying for you over the last several days. I’m praying that we are making the right decision to induce and you will be healthy. I’m praying that we need to spend as little time in the NICU as possible and hopefully we can all come home as a family on Thursday. I’m praying that I don’t need a c-section and that labor will go well and relatively quickly, but not so quickly that I can’t receive the epidural. But most of my prayers are dedicated towards you little girl. From what I’ve read, it seems like the biggest challenges for early ones like yourself are high bilirubin counts, which typically don’t show up until day 2 or so and then people end up back in the hospital. Lots of prayers that you are healthy and once we leave the hospital we don’t have to come back.