Dear Baby,
Ahh…. 35 Weeks. The milestone of ’35 weeks down and 35 days to go’. 35 days seems like nothing, but 5 weeks still feels like a ways away. At home, I’m feeling like I don’t have a whole lot to do to prep for your arrival. Your room is ready, I have diapers and wipes, nursing stuff ready and he fabric shells of all of your gear is washed. The three things I have left to do include: getting a hospital bag packed, buying an outfit to bring you home in and buckling the car seat base into the car. This is miles ahead of where we were with Lexi considering we hadn’t even had a shower at this point.
What I’m not ready for is stepping away from work and all of the things that come with a having a newborn. I’m ready to have a break from the craziness of work and just be at home with our family, but there is so much going on that only I am aware of and need to start to mind dump my projects onto others so things don’t fall apart when I leave. I’m also slightly disappointed to be leaving as I feel like there are a couple of projects I’ve been working on for the past 6 months that are finally starting to make headway and now I’m going to have to step away and wont’ be able to close the loop on everything. This is such a different mindset than I had with Lexi and honestly surprises me. I’ve never been so engaged and passionate about a job before. I’ve always been passionate about doing a good job, but haven’t been attached to what I’ve been doing. I can already tell that it will make going back to work so much easier than with Lexi.
I’m also not prepared for life with a newborn. Lexi was so easy on us, but I know I can’t expect that you will be like that and almost feel very naive of what to expect. I’m not ready to have lots of sleepless nights and wake up at 5-6 am everyday for the next 6+ years. I’m not ready for the amount of time I will need to spend with you and how that will change my relationship with Lexi. The other thing I don’t feel prepared for is the amount of love I will have for you. It is so hard to understand and believe that I could love another little babe as much as I love your sister.
The pain I was feeling last week when I walked or stood on one foot has gone away, and been replaced with the pregnancy waddle and a non-stop need to go to the bathroom. I constantly feel like I need to go, and that if I don’t go I may have an accident. This could also be a result of drinking more water, but I think it has a lot to do with you just getting bigger. I also subconsciously groan when I stand up and need a little assistance by pushing off on my own legs or holding onto something when I get up from the floor. I also have a hard time going up stairs while holding Lexi.
Sleep is getting more difficult. I have a harder time staying asleep and mobility is limited. The thought of rolling over is comparable to the idea of running a marathon–terrifying! In general, I have very littler energy. I’m working hard to try and not let that effect Lexi and have her watch TV every night after work, even though that’s what I want to do.
I’m looking forward to next week when we have another ultra-sound and get a better progress update on how things are going. 36 weeks feels like a big mental milestone.
Love,
Mama
Peanut Smiles 