Peanut Smiles

To me,

You totally underestimated the complexity of two kids! Everyone always talks about how your first kid change your life in how you can’t do things the way you used to. It’s not that I disagree with that but Lexi seemed to just fit into our life like she had always been there. It didn’t feel like we had to make too many adjustments to our lifestyle. Baby 2 is a whole different ballgame in every way possible.

To begin with, it has been more challenging to bond with William as I’m so preoccupied with Lexi. There is significantly less time sitting, holding and snuggling William. As soon as he is sleeping, he is in the rock and play so I can clean the house, make breakfast/lunch/dinner, play with Lexi or make sure she isn’t into something.

And I feel terrible about that. Like really terrible, like makes me think sometimes that I love him less terrible. The rational side of my knows this is absurd. My heart and my brain know that I love this sweet boy to the deepest depths of the ocean, yet that irrational, hormone-flowing crazy person inside of me puts these thoughts into my head.

To add to that, I don’t feel like I’m giving Lexi enough. I rely on the TV far too often to keep her out of things and to give myself just a second to relax. She is always into something and it is hard to keep her out of things that I don’t want her to be in. She’ll go and get playdough and I just don’t have the energy for her to play with it knowing the big mess she’ll make and supervision she’ll need. I feel guilty not always sitting down and coloring with her because there are crumbs all over the floor that are getting tracked through the rest of the house, a pile of dishes, a load of laundry that needs to get put in the dryer because the outfit I soaked from yesterday’s blowout is starting to dry and then the stain really won’t come out and I haven’t brushed my teeth yet today. These tasks just eat away at me as I’m sitting there trying to color with her and give her the attention she needs and deserves.

I keep thinking of all those Moms out there with 3 or more kids and give you mad props. Being a mom of multiple kids is no joke! I pray that it will get easier over time and we’re just in the transition stage, but holy hell, this transition stuff plays some crazy games with your sanity.

Love,

William 1 Month

March 25, 2015January 23, 2019 peanutsmiles

Dear William,

It is hard for me to believe that 4 weeks ago Daddy and I were heading to the hospital to meet you. It feels like forever ago, yet in my mind it still feels like you’re a couple of days old. This past month has been a mix of emotions for mommy. I have these moments where I’m bursting with joy and bring myself to tears staring at you and thanking God for blessing us with this perfect little boy. Then, I have these moments where I just want to cry because I don’t have enough arms to take care of you and your sister and question myself over and over. You’re eating and your sister needs to go to the bathroom and I have to choose–Do I stop; make you angry and cover yourself and myself in sticky breast milk or take the chance of Lexi not being able to hold it and pee her pants? Then I worry; Am I not holding you enough? It feels like I’m always putting you down once you’ve fallen asleep so I can do something for Lexi or get something else done (like write this letter) instead of just enjoying you and not worrying about the messy tornado the house has become or making dinner. Then, I worry; Am I holding you too much and creating bad habits and you’re not going to be able to sleep by yourself? Both thoughts are complete contradictions of one other, but honest thoughts. For now, I’m blaming it on the swing of hormones my body is going through and hoping that I’m not going crazy! Overall, taking care of two is so much harder than I ever imagined.

One month stats:

10 lbs .5 oz (56.2%)
22″ long (81%)
15 in head circumference (85%)

Overall, eating is going well. Once my milk stabilized (around 10 days), I felt much more in control and you were able to latch much better. Frequency of eating is all over the board. If I had to guess, I would say you eat every 3 hours or so. Occasionally, you’ll go 5 hours if you fall into a deep sleep. Around 2.5 weeks you started giving us longer night stretches. Most nights you eat around 9, 1:30 and then again around 7. Of course, there are nights where you wake more often than this, but there have been several nights where this is the ‘schedule’. Also around the 2.5 week timeframe, you started showing some signs of intense gassiness. You scrunch up your face turn bright red and cry and squirm for 30 seconds or so and then go completely calm.

This continues to occur almost all day and prevents you from falling into a deep sleep. You’ll sleep for 30 to 45 minute stretches but then wake yourself with these gas pains. It is so hard to watch you experience these as you’re clearly in pain and discomfort but there is nothing that we can do to help. At 3 weeks, we took you to the doctor to see if there was anything we could do or give you. They suggested some gas drops, but they didn’t really work. We also had tried prune juice in a bottle, which helped you poop but didn’t take away the gassiness and fussiness. (By the way, you take a bottle like a champ!) One thing the lactation consultant suggested that did help was to have me recline way back or nearly lay down during let down. It comes out pretty strong and quickly so you you were making lots of gulping noises and you would choke on the milk, which then would also spray all over your face when you pulled off. The gassiness is still there, but you seem to do a much better job eating when you can control the let down. You’re still eating on just one side per feeding and do a great job of latching on and off. Within the last two days, I feel like the gassiness has gotten better. You still have it and wince and cry in pain, but you don’t seem to be in as much pain and it isn’t lasting all day. Additionally, you seem to have some results of all your pushing and grunting as now we’re hearing toots and seeing you poop as a result.

Speaking of poop–you like to do it frequently and like to have your diaper changed immediately. I would say you poop 6-8 times between the hours of 7 am and 2 pm. We are going through a ton of diapers (you switched from newborns at about week 3 to size 1s).

Back to the gas, I’ve removed dairy and caffeine from my diet to see if either of those things are triggers for you. They weren’t, thank God! I was willing to try anything to help you get some relief, but no dairy for me was terrible. Milk or cheese is in nearly every recipe that I have and is a big part of my diet.

Today at the doctor for your 1 month checkup–they gave us a prescription for reflux to see if that may be causing the fussiness. You rarely spit up, but I do hear a lot of noises so you may be spitting up and swallowing it again?! We shall see! After your done eating, I try and lay you flat on my legs to get your stomach to settle and then either put you on my shoulder or have you sit up to burp. You usually give me one good burp.

Other interesting notes:

You have the scrawniest little frog legs ever. You love to kick (especially during diaper changes) and push off things with your long little string bean legs. No chubby thighs for you!
You love to keep your hands right by your face (also evidenced by your ultrasound pics)

IMG_4602-1

Your wearing 3 month clothes (you never fit into newborn clothes)
Around the 1 week mark, the baby acne came in full force and it is still pretty intense. Hopefully it starts to get better in the next couple of weeks. However, the rest of your skin is silky and smooth and I love to run my hands on it. Your wrinkly old man hands and feet went about just after week 1.
You love to cuddle and be held–especially with a soft blanket wrapped around your head. If you’re really upset, I’ll wrap a blanket around you hold you really tight and close to me and bounce up and down and it usually calms you down and puts you right to sleep. You also do really well hanging out in the Ergo. It almost always puts your to sleep and I love feeling your fast little breaths on my chest.
I think you might love your pacifier more than me. Seriously. You really really like to sooth yourself with it. And Lexi really likes to take it from you. If it falls out of your mouth you squirm and arch your back to try and reach it. You’ve even rolled over because you were squirming so much!
Around week 2 we had you start sleeping in your bedroom. We were switching between the rock and play and the crib and swaddling and not swaddling trying to figure out what worked best to have you sleep the longest. Around week 3, we started swaddling you and having you sleep in the crib every night. You were a little resistant at first, but I think it has been helping you sleep for longer stretches.
Around 3 weeks, you started to smile at us. Those gummy grins are far and few between, but they have made a couple of appearances.

Your big sister Lexi adores you. She is constantly asking where ‘Buddy’ is and telling us she wants to see you. She loves to give you kisses and hugs (honestly, like 10 or more a day). She also loves to put herself right in your line of sight and announce, ‘He’s wooking at you’. This is especially true during diaper changes. She literally gets right up in your face so your noses are touching. She has started to act out a little. I’m sure part of it is from her being 2 and the other part from the lack of attention she’s getting. She’ll often tell me that you aren’t hungry when your crying or that you don’t need to be burped but she needs me to color with her.

I’m not sure what we’re going to call you yet. William? Will? I don’t know. For now, it is just William, but am hoping as your little personality starts to shine, we’ll have a better sense of what suits you best.

Well there you have it Mr. William. Your first month captured in way more detail than you probably ever cared to know. The most important thing we want you to know is how much your Daddy and I love you. We are so excited to watch you grow into your own little person and help teach you and guide you along in this crazy life.

Love,

Mama

William, William Monthly Updates

William Week 1

March 4, 2015December 3, 2016 peanutsmiles

Dear William,

You are officially one week old! I feel like I said this in nearly every monthly post of Lexi’s, but I can hardly believe it is only one week and that it is already one week. I’m going to be completely honest, this week was really hard for me.

We came home from the hospital on Thursday afternoon, a day earlier than we needed to, but I was just ready. I was uncomfortable in the hospital bed, the food wasn’t great and just wanted to start adjusting to our new life. That first night wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t great. We started putting you in your crib and I slept in our bed, but I think the house was too cold for you as you just didn’t want to sleep alone. You did a good job sleeping in my arms, so we spent a majority of the night sleeping in the rocking chair.

Overall, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday I was just in a lot of pain, hormonal, tired and was having a hard time seeing when the pain would dissipate. Between the pain from the tare, uterine contractions, bruise on my back from the epidural fiasco, my milk coming in, EXTREME engorgement and very little control of my bladder I was just having a really hard time adjusting. I became mean, short-tempered and frustrated, and knew I was, but wasn’t able to control it.

In addition to the pain I was feeling, Lexi started to misbehave more than normal. She was deliberately disobeying us and not listening. This, with my lack of patience was not a good combination. However, by Monday, I felt like I had turned a corner and could start to see things getting better.

We visited the doctor on Monday and you weighed 8 lbs. 8 oz and were 20.5″ long and your head was 14.5″. Your weight and height are in the 75% and head is 90%. Everything else continued to look great for you. The doctor even said that since you are pretty much at your birth weight we don’t have to do the 1-month checkup for you as they really just want to make sure you’re up to your birth weight and you’re pretty much there!

It has been interesting watch Lexi adjust to you over the week. When she first met you in the hospital, she could have cared less about you and was really excited about the cool new train that you got her. Overall, she didn’t like the hospital and wanted to leave and go to Grandma’s house. When she came to visit again that evening, she was still pretty unimpressed with you but kept asking who you were. On Thursday, she definitely started to show more interest and asked what you were doing and who you were over and over. She also went with Daddy to pick out a pal for you. Her original pick was a purple bunny, but eventually settled on a Raccoon and was pretty excited to give it to you. The following days she warmed up a little bit every day. At first, Daddy would ask her to give you a kiss and she refused. She didn’t even want to be near you, and didn’t like the additional attention you received over her. By the end of the week, she would touch your head and is constantly asking where ‘brother’ is and what he is doing or why he is crying. I’ve even caught her touching your head and giving you unprompted kisses.

Other notes about your first week:

You really dislike diaper changes and kick a lot during them.
Your umbilical cord is almost ready to fall out and it really smells
You love to have your hands by your face, but have really long finger nails and scratch yourself so we’ve been wearing sleeping gowns with hand protectors a lot
You barely squeezed into a newborn outfit when you came home from the hospital. I tried a different one a couple days later and you couldn’t get into it. You’ve got some broad shoulders buddy.
You love to cuddle up in a ball with mom and dad and love to have warm blankets wrapped around you while you sleep.
Overall, you’re pretty content and just like to sleep and eat 🙂
The first week you met all of your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, the Mauer’s and the Vossen’s.
You eat every two hours or so–mostly because I need you to, to help manage my milk. Hopefully this will start to stretch out a bit once it has maintained itself.

And that wraps up your first week buddy. We love you so much and are so excited to have you join our family.

Love,

Mama

P.S. Sorry for the lack of pictures, Lexi ‘accidentally’ played with my phone and locked me out of it, which meant all of my unsaved pictures were cleared.

Baby 2, William

William Gregory’s Birth Story

February 28, 2015June 19, 2017 peanutsmiles

Dear little buddy,

The guessing games and mind tricks are over, you are here! And you are the perfect little baby; so similar to your sister yet so different. As I mentioned in my 39 Week post, I was thinking you were going to arrive in a similar way to Lexi via induction, but you’ve showed us you’re your own little person.

After going to my 39 week appointment, having my membranes stripped and getting the direction to keep walking; I headed to Target to get a couple of things and then to Costco before heading home to work for the rest of the afternoon. During both trips I was experiencing contractions but nothing painful or different from the last week or so. I came home and started working, yet making an effort to move around the house as much as possible. Contractions continued, but again I didn’t think anything of it. Around 2, I started timing them just to see IF there was any regularity to them. To me they felt very sporadic. Much to my surprise, they were coming every 10-12 min or so. Although surprised, it never crossed my mind that this was the very beginning stages of labor for us. As the day progressed they slowly got stronger. By 6:00, I told Daddy I was about 70% sure we would have a baby by this time tomorrow. I felt like I was in labor but didn’t want to get myself too excited only to be deflated, again. Daddy said OK, what’s the plan, do we need to go now? I hadn’t really thought about it, but knew we didn’t need to leave at this moment.

I texted Grandma B to be on ‘watch’. Daddy and I started picking up the house and cleaning so we would have a clean house to come home to if this was the real deal and to help me keep my mind on something. Daddy helped me time contractions during this process. Whenever I felt one, he had me yell out ‘Tippy-toe’ (A Seinfeld reference; you’ll learn that your Daddy is a BIG fan.) Again, to my surprise, contractions were coming every 5 minutes and the pain level was about a 2/10. If we hadn’t timed them, I would have guessed they were coming every 10 minutes. This is the moment that I really let myself believe that I might actually be in labor and it wasn’t a false alarm.

Around 7:00, I called the Dr to let them know I thought I was in labor. They agreed that it sounded like I was and told me to hang out at home for a bit longer, but don’t wait until I’m in a lot of pain to come in as Baby #2 can come a lot faster. I was excited by this thought, but was still pretty nervous that everything could fall apart and I would be going to work tomorrow. After getting off the phone with the Dr. I called Grandma and told her to head over so she could watch Lexi.

The Wild were playing that night and Daddy really wanted to watch the game. So he watched the first period while I continued to clean to stay on my feet and keep my mind pre-occupied. Contractions had grown stronger but I was still able to concentrate on whatever I was doing and didn’t need to stop to breath through anything. By 8:45 Grandma arrived and contractions were increasing in intensity and thought it was time to head in. Lexi was off-the-walls excited to see/play with Grandma and couldn’t wait to get rid of us. In fact, she told us to leave several times.

On the car ride over, we started timing contractions again and they were coming about every 3 minutes. They were painful (3/10) but I could continue to walk and talk through them. The car ride was a little surreal. There was a level of excitement of this is ‘IT’. This is what it feels like to go into labor naturally. For whatever reason, the car ride to the hospital had some kind of significant meaning to me as it somehow represented the notion of going into labor. Whenever I thought about how you were going to arrive, the ride to the hospital was what I would always visualize. Kind of strange, but true. So to be in the car with Daddy and making our 5-mile trip to the hospital was fairly monumental for me.

Once we were all set up in the triage room for our hour progression wait, we turned on the Wild game to help pass the time. Again, contractions continued to get stronger throughout that hour and by the end, I needed to stop and breath through them. The only tolerable position for me was to stand and while a contraction would come, I would need to bend over and brace myself on the side of the bed. After our hour wait, I was still dilated to a 4, but was much softer. Thankfully, they decided to admit me even though I hadn’t technically made any progress, but could clearly tell I was in labor and things had intensified since we had come in. It was such a relief to know we were going to have you! I told Daddy if they didn’t admit me, we were just going to go downstairs and hang out in the lobby because there was no way I was leaving. Getting admitted also meant I could get that epidural I was thinking about with every contraction.

As soon as we arrived in our room they ordered the epidural. I was relieved I didn’t need to wait another hour to get it as that is what I remember them telling me with Lexi. You need to get a bag of fluid in, which takes about an hour, before they can administer the epidural. The anesthesiologist arrived in our room around 10:30 pm and I sat on the edge of the bed curled over thinking it was going to be a quick and easy process like it was with Lexi. Wrong-OH! First of all, I do not remember any pain when they numbed the area and I definitely had that this time. Second, when she put in the catheter she hit a blood vessel so there was a lot of blood, not that I could see it, but apparently it wasn’t a good thing. So she tried again with no success. She proceeded to try three new locations requiring numbing in 3 different areas, hitting my bone several times and was a very painful experience. It ended up taking an hour for her to actually get the epidural in and working. Throughout this entire process, I was having contractions every 2 minutes, was forced to remain sitting on the edge of the bed with my back curved over and neck down. The contractions were fairly strong at this point and required 100% focus and lots of breathing to get through each one. This process was pretty terrible and I was pretty frustrated. Thankfully, Daddy was there holding my hand to help me get through it and try and keep me as relaxed. There were several times where he thought I was going to break one of his fingers. During the last 15 minutes, I was on edge with the anesthesiologist and was about ready to request someone else to come as she clearly couldn’t do it. Later Daddy made comments about how we clearly got the ‘C’ team on this as she didn’t look like she knew what she was doing. He even asked her if some of the products were child-proof as she seemed like she had never opened them before.

Nonetheless, by 11:30 it finally worked and I had some relief. At this point, I had only progressed to a 5. This amazes me. I for sure felt like she was going to check me and i was going to be like a 7. For as often as the contractions were coming and how strong they felt, it seems crazy to think that my body was only half way to where it needed to be to deliver you. By midnight, the nurse suggested getting a little rest. Daddy was pretty tired so he lied down for a little. I sent my work an email to let them know I was in labor, made some notes about labor thus far and closed my eyes to get what little rest I could.

Around 1:30 I started feeling a lot of pressure that was boarder-line uncomfortable/painful. I was thinking that the medication for the epidural was running out. I paged the nurse to let her know. She checked me quick and said I was a 7 with a bulging bag of waters. Either my water was going to break pretty quickly or the Dr. would break it when she arrived, which should be in about 30 minutes.

The pain and pressure continued to build and it felt like I had to go number 2 really bad. At 2:15, I paged the nurses again and said the pain and pressure was getting pretty bad. The Dr. came in, broke my water and said she would be back in 10-15 minutes to deliver. Having the water break is such an unusual sensation. It is warm and feels like you’re peeing your pants, but an entire bucket in a couple of seconds. For me, it decreased the pain of two contractions but then the pain for the next one was stronger than before my water broke.

At 2:25 the nurses and the doctor came in and set up shop. There was a nurse for me, the doctor and a nurse for you. I was surprised at how few people were in the room; with Lexi it felt like there were about 10 nurses in there. During my first contraction of pushing, they informed me that I had turned you from face up to face down. The second contraction pushed you further down the birth canal and the third contraction, you were out. Despite having the epidural, I felt a lot of pain. I even remember screaming a little during that last push to get your head out and saying it hurts! As soon as your head came out, there was instant relief and the rest of your body squiggled it’s way out without any pushing.

Once you were out, Daddy announced, “It’s a William” and had one of the biggest and proudest smiles on his face I have ever seen. The nurse wiped you off quickly and put you on my chest while Daddy cut your umbilical cord. I looked down at you and put my arms around you and all I could think about were how purple your hands were. I gave you a kiss on the top of your head and immediately started referring to you as ‘buddy’. However, your purple fingers really concerned me, the nurse agreed and quickly took you away to give you a more thorough check.

Birth Stats:

- Name: William Gregory Sampson (the 6th William Sampson and named after both of your Grandpas)

Born: February 25, 2015 at 2:37 a.m.

Weight: 8 lbs 10 oz.

Height: 19.5 inches (although, I don’t think this is right as 4 days later you were 20.5″ at the doctor)

Apgar scores: 8 & 9

While the Dr. cleaned me up, I laid there in disbelief that it only took 3 contractions to get you out, that we had a SON and I had been complaining and contemplating an induction day earlier that morning. Very surreal for me. Another side effect of birth for me was having some really intense shakes. My whole body was shaking uncontrollably for nearly two hours after. I got the chills on and off and was a little nervous holding you as my arms were shaking so bad.

After all of the nurses left and we were waiting for my epidural to wear off, it was such a couple of peaceful hours. Because it was so early in the morning we weren’t distracted by calling or texting friends and family to announce your arrival. Daddy and I were just able to cuddle you, nurse you and enjoy the little miracle that you are. I loved watching daddy snuggle you and love you. Throughout the pregnancy he was fairly indifferent to you inside the belly, but the moment he set eyes on you, I could see the bond he felt towards you and the deep love that had grown in a matter of seconds. Words really can’t describe how wonderful it was to watch Daddy fall in love with you.

Finally, around 5:30 a.m. the epidural had worn off and we were brought to the postpartum room. We asked the nurses to leave us alone for several hours so we could get some rest. So there you have it little bud, this is how you arrived into this crazy world we live in. We love you so much and are so excited to watch you grow into a happy baby, curious toddler, inquisitive boy and handsome man.

Let the fun begin!

Love, Your Mama

Side notes for mommy:

- I had one small tare and they even questioned if it needed a stitch, but ultimately decided to give me one.

After talking with the doctor about the epidural and why I felt so much pain this time. They explained that the epidural usually numbs the pain of the contraction but doesn’t diminish the pressure to help with the pushing and that I probably had a really good epidural the first time around and this one was more normal. I would much rather have preferred the no pain route!

Bill got queasy several times during the pushing process and needed to sit down. He said there was lots of blood and other things coming out of me, which was not the case with Lexi. It was funny to hear him tell me this later because I had no idea he was sitting down. Also, I think this was because with Lexi, my water was broken at 8:00 am so there was several hours for everything to come out, where this time it was only a couple minutes and I wasn’t able to stand up and let gravity due its thing.

Uncategorized

William’s Birth Announcement

February 25, 2015February 7, 2017 peanutsmiles

Welcome to the world my William!!

Baby 2, Pregnancy Updates

Baby #2 39 Weeks

February 24, 2015March 14, 2015 peanutsmiles

Dear little baby,

I’m not sure if it is you or my body, but this past week, has been such a tease. I’ve been having contractions on a regular basis, but nothing consistent. They’ll appear for 30-60 minutes and then disappear for a couple of hours and then decide to show up again and then go away. Mentally it is draining as I think–oh maybe this is it–and then am deflated. I’m trying not to analyze every potential sign, but man it is hard not to.

I’ve also been praying to help relinquish control and just let you do your thing and arrive when you are supposed to–it is easier said than done. Overall, the pelvic pressure has dissipated a bit–which kind of makes me feel like I’m moving in the opposite direction.

Otherwise the week was pretty low key. There were a few flair ups at work but for the most part it was fairly calm. On Friday, my boss officially took me off of all projects and is just having me work on some things for when I return from maternity. Sunday, we made a turkey and Grandma and Grandpa came over but I think that was about it.

I also had my weekly Dr. appointment. I have gained 21 lbs so far–not to bad, and very surprising considering 10 of those lbs were put on in the first trimester. Everything else looks good. Your heart rate was around 155–so a little on the higher side again. I was dilated to a 3+ and the cervix has continued to soften–all good signs. I had my membranes stripped and was given direction to walk, walk and walk so more. So we’ll see what I’m able to do being trapped inside with the cold weather and what I can do at work. We also talked a lot about induction and if we should do it this Friday or wait until my due date next Tuesday. I’m a little torn. I really want to go naturally and have that experience of not being induced, but I’m also anxious to meet you and am fearful of you being a really big baby and needing a C-section to deliver, just because I wanted to experience going into labor naturally. If we schedule Friday and get bumped we’ll have a really good chance of getting in on Tuesday. If we wait until Tuesday and get bumped, we’ll have to wait until Friday, 11 days from now. 11 Days seems unfathomable. I’m sure I would go before then but the idea of waiting another 11 days seems like torture. After talking to Daddy, the plan is to put our name down on the list for Tuesday and then check in on Thursday afternoon to see what the wait list is like for Friday and if the list is really long, I’ll put my name down knowing I won’t get in and should for sure be set for Tuesday. I feel good about this plan and feel more confident that I’ll go into labor on my own before next Tuesday.

Thats all for now–lets meet soon little one.

Love,

Mama

Baby 2, Pregnancy Updates

Baby #2 38.5 Weeks Pregnancy Insomnia

February 19, 2015March 14, 2015 peanutsmiles

Little babes,

These last couple weeks before your arrival are a silent killer. The anticipation of your arrival is so exciting but so difficult. The notion that you can theoretically come at any point over a 6 week time period is hard. You don’t want to plan anything in case–but you also don’t want to just sit around and wait and drive yourself crazy.

My mobility at this point is pretty difficult. Standing up, walking, sleeping, sitting–there is no good position at this point. Lots of noises are made in any kind of transition.

Then tonight, I’m dealing with one of my first bouts of pregnancy insomnia. Thankfully, I haven’t dealt with this much–but it stinks. I just can’t sleep and what’s worse is knowing how tired I’m going to be at work tomorrow. Anyways, thought I would take advantage of the quietness of the house to capture of the non-stop thoughts about your arrival running through my head.

The constant change in how I’m feeling is so difficult. At one point, I’m so uncomfortable and feel so much pressure that I feel like your arrival could happen at any second. Then a couple hours later or maybe a day–I feel nothing as in I could be pregnant for another 2-3 months.

I also realize that I’m only 38 weeks pregnant and that I’m being inpatient and don’t have a right (on behalf of all overdue pregnant ladies) to feel this way. As of right now, I’m about 90% convinced that you will not arrive on your own and I’ll need to be induced. And if I’m being honest with myself, I’m about 50% OK with that. I had a great experience when I was induced with Lexi and really really want Dr. G to deliver you. The other 50% of me really wants to have that experience of going into labor naturally. In my mind, there is something fairly exhilarating about the adrenal rush that would come with that. Does my water break, timing contractions, determining when to call Grandma, determining when to go to the hospital–the unknown of that just seems a little exciting to me.

At the Dr. appointment earlier this week, I told Dr. G, I want to be induced on my due date (March 3rd) if you haven’t arrived by then. I’m torn on if I want to really do that or not. Part of my just wants to meet you and be done with it, and the other part wants to give you a couple more days to come on your own schedule. If you haven’t arrived by Friday, then I would be OK being induced. Regardless, I think I’m going to be done with work by my due date. I have some vacation that needs to get used and think I just want to be done. I’m going to take next Friday off and go to MOA to walk as it has been disgustingly cold here out (like -15 degrees with wind chills of -30, yuck!!) and have a fun family day by taking Lexi on a ride or two and seeing Lego land.

Come out soon sweet baby. Mama wants to meet you.

Love,

Mama

PS. Your big sister is excited to meet you as well. We were snuggling in bed the other night and she turns to me and declares, ‘Mama, I share girafee with sister’ which is her absolute favorite thing in the world and don’t believe she has gone a night without girafee for over a year and a half. You’re already so loved!

Baby 2, Pregnancy Updates

Baby #2 38 Weeks

February 17, 2015March 14, 2015 peanutsmiles

Dear Baby,

I’m sorry, but no more photos 😦 I took them, but hadn’t transferred them to the computer yet and you’re sister wiped them off my phone. I’m super bummed!

I’ve officially entered the mind games of pregnancy stage. After hearing I was 50% effaced and dilated to a 2 last week and a particularly challenging day with some contractions–I was convinced I wasn’t going to make it through this week. I felt like I could potentially go into labor at any moment.

However, the following day–I felt great and felt like I wouldn’t go for another couple of weeks. The games your mind plays on you are tricky! The most exciting thing that happened this week was that I made it! Walking out of work on Friday, I was just ecstatic. I felt so relieved to have made it and to know that the next two weeks shouldn’t involve a lot of heavy lifting on my behalf. Granted there is still a lot of work to do, but I shouldn’t have to work in the evenings and I feel like all but one of my projects can move forward without me and the knowledge has been transferred. Wahoo!!!

Sub-consciously, I am thinking about your arrival constantly. I’m over-analyzing every movement, pain and feeling running through my body and it is kind of driving me a little crazy. In my head, I feel like there are two situations in which you will arrive.

1. I’m going to be induced. I think this situation is top of mind because that’s what happened with Lexi.

2. You are going to come really really fast. Like my water is going to break and I’m instantly going to be tons of pain and we’re not going to be able to wait for Grandma to get here or drop Lexi off anywhere and we’re just going to have to speed to the hospital.

Realistically, I know that your arrival will be very different than either of these scenarios, but these are the two that rise to the top as I constantly think about your arrival.

I’m also back to feeling more strongly that you are a boy. I’m just dying to find out. I can’t wait to find out how our family is about to change.

I had my weekly Dr appointment today and things look good. I’m dialated to about a 2.5 and about 60% effaced-so little progress but not a ton. Your heart rate was between 130 and 135. Overall, movement has decreased in frequency but is much stronger and you like to stretch out a out. I continue to get random spouts of numbness in my legs–Dr. G. confirmed you are very very low, which would explain those zingers.

I’m ready for you any time little nugs! Come out and meet your family.

Love,

Mama

Baby 2, Pregnancy Updates

Baby #2 37 Weeks

February 9, 2015March 14, 2015 peanutsmiles

Dear Baby,

You are officially full term, but I need you to continue to bake at the very least for the rest of the week! I feel like ‘The Belly’ or you got huge this week. I was wearing a sweatshirt and you looked massive under it–even Daddy commented on how the Belly looks bigger now than it ever did with Lexi. After looking at this week’s picture–I feel like I’m starting to get the basketball look and not so much the long round egg look.

I had my weekly Dr. appointment today and things are going really well. Your heart rate was between 130 and 135. I continue to have a ridiculous amount of of Braxton Hicks contractions–some of them are painful, but painful at the bottom of the belly so Dr. G thinks that is from my body preparing to deliver you–not any pre-labor signs. I’m dilated to a comfortable 2 cm and about 50% or more effaced–so the body is making progress.

I still feel good considering your about 7.5 lbs. and can come at any point. I’m sleeping pretty well–only have to get up once during the night to go to the bathroom and can fall back asleep, most of the time. Rolling over has become nearly impossible. I pretty much need to sit up to roll to the other side–and find myself holding onto the blankets to help pull myself up.

Your movements have changed dramatically over the past 2-3 weeks. Instead of kicks and rolls it is more of stretching and adjustments. Usually, I can identify your butt and legs–especially when they are stretching out and pushing on the top of my belly. Pelvic pressure has increased, most noticeably when I’m walking but it is still bearable.

The only food that I really want to eat right now is sweets–and have had more than my fair share. So much so that I gained 3 lbs this week, yikes! Overall, I’ve had very little heartburn throughout the entire pregnancy and even when I have had it, it has been pretty minimal and haven’t needed to take TUMS, definitely thankful on that side of things. I think my feet/legs are starting to swell a little or at least by the end of the day, my socks feel tight around my legs. I also feel like I’ve reached the point where my maternity pants are getting small and my shirts are too short.

Work continues to be insane–but I just need to make it to the end of this week and it should level out as I’ll have some replacements on site. The end is in sight and I couldn’t be more excited!

Love,

Mama

Baby 2, Pregnancy Updates

Baby #2 36 Weeks

February 3, 2015March 14, 2015 peanutsmiles

Little Babes,

We officially have 4 weeks or less until we meet face to face and I couldn’t be more excited. Will you have chunky little cheeks? Hair? A light complexion like mom? Or dark like Dad? Will you be tall like your sister? When will you arrive, how will you arrive? And of course will we be blessed with a son or a daughter? All of these questions are constantly running through my mind, mostly about when and how you will arrive, but the anticipation is exciting! And more than anything, we pray that you are a healthy little nugget!

This morning we had your 36 week check up. It started with an ultrasound to check on your growth and ensure you were in fact head down. As of today, you’re measuring to be right around 7 lbs. with a heart rate between 135 and 145. The blood flow to your heart looks great and everything with your brain appears to be developing well. You are head down and like to keep your arms next to your face, but did cooperate and move them so we could get a little sneak peak of your chunky cheeks–and from the 3D pics, they look chunky! We were also able to see some hair on that head of yours.

Daddy and Lexi both came to the appointment this morning. Daddy was once again amazed at how much we’re able to look at with an ultra-sound and see you squirming around in there. Lexi, was a little less impressed. She knew right away that there was a baby on the screen, but was more interested in what the technician was doing to my belly and wanted to show the technician her belly.

After the ultra-sound we met with Dr. G and she did a quick test for Group B Strep and checked to see how things were progressing. I am dilated to 1 cm, and softening is starting to occur. This surprised me; I’m feeling pretty good and thought I would need to be more uncomfortable like I was with Lexi for any progression to begin. We also talked about how I likely won’t go past my due date if you haven’t arrived by then. Based on your current estimated size and typical growth patters, you would be 9 1/2 lbs! However, Lexi measured a little larger than you did at this same point, and ended up weighing 8 lbs when born so I still think it is all a guessing game at this point, BUT it does feel good to have an official ‘meet’ date in sight.

For whatever reason, this appointment made it feel a little more real for me in the fact that your Daddy and I will be meeting you soon. I still think we have several weeks, but it made me feel the pressure to get some things unloaded off my plate at work in case you do surprise us.

Outside of the Dr. appointment, things are going as expected. In general, I feel so much better than I did with Lexi at this point. I don’t have the itching–which is making sleep much better. I don’t have the pelvic pressure I did with her or the hip pain and feel less anxious for your arrival. There was so much unknown with her and I had never gone through labor or birth and I was constantly thinking about it. This time, I feel like I have a better idea what to expect–but still trying to embrace myself for a completely different experience. I’m also putting less pressure on myself to have everything at home be perfect. I’m not worried about what is in the hospital bag or forgetting something, or even having the car seat in the car. We only live 5 miles from the hospital, which is 1/4 of a mile away from Target–if we forget something, Daddy can easily go get something.

Work continues to be stressful as there is just so much going on and nobody to back me up at this point if you arrive. Additionally, it is just exhausting running from meetings all day and then coming home, making dinner, playing with Lexi, getting her ready for bed and then working for another several hours every night. There is no time to relax at all and just rest.

Until next week…

Love,

Mama