Peanut Smiles

Dear Little Babes,

Although you have informally introduced yourself to me via all the pregnancy symptoms I am feeling, we meet earlier this week on the ultra-sound screen. The doctor officially confirmed your existence and we saw  your heart beat flutter away at 159 beats a minute. You’re measuring right on track and are due to arrive July 13th!  For some reason, I was more nervous for your appointment than I remember for the others. Foolish, but I was worried I had somehow fabricated your existence and my mind was playing some crazy tricks on me. I’ll blame the irrational thoughts on the hormones.

I was also officially diagnosed with pneumonia this week which is not good. I had bronchitis earlier this month and it just never went away. After the OB listened to my wheezy breathing and deep gargley cough, I went back to the general practitioner diagnosed who me with pneumonia and strict instructions to get lots and lots of rest. No household chores, just sitting on the couch. And at this point, I have no problems with that. Between the pneumonia and the early pregnancy symptoms I feel pretty terrible. I took a shower today and that felt like I exerted too much energy.

The metallic taste that I experienced weeks 3-6ish has gone away, but I now I’m really struggling to brush my teeth and usually vom a little when I do.

Eating is a hot mess. I know I need to eat every 2 hours or so to help fight off the nausea but nothing sounds good. Additionally, when I do eat, I’ll sometimes eat too much and then feel terrible. I’m walking a fine line of not eating enough or too much to keep my blood sugar in check. Throw in a little dizzyness and it makes for a fabulous combination.

For the most part, I’ve been pretty emotionally stable (but should maybe get confirmation from your dad on that one). I’ve had a few moments where I start crying for no reason (like watching Survivor last night!) but for the most part I feel like I’ve been pretty rational.

Keep growing little one and lets hope Mom starts to feel better!

Love,

Mama

Dear Babes,

Happy Thanksgiving! This past week has been fairly uneventful. The biggest news is how awful I feel. It is interesting how each pregnancy has been different. Lexi I felt the nausea and was beyond exhausted. I would fall take a nap between brushing my teeth and putting my clothes on each morning. With William, I kind of knew what to expect so I made sure to eat every 2-3 hours or so and was tired but it was manageable. With you, I feel like I have the flu every day. Full on body aches–particularly within my core. I get winded going up a flight of stairs. Most food doesn’t sound appetizing but know I need to eat so I force myself to eat something. I’m also super unmotivated. I just want to sit on the couch. The house is a mess and I have piles of laundry that need to be done, folded and put away, but rarely do anything about it and strangely don’t care. Early next week, Daddy and I head to the doctor to get a little closer glimps of you. Mentally, I’m about 50% sure this is happening. I’m thinking about the future and how we will change things up for you, but I fully can’t let my mind go there until next week when we get official official confirmation of your existance and a due date.

Sit tight little one, you’re about to get your picture taken for the first time.

Love,

Mama

Dear little babes,

This has been a rough week for your mama. Last week, I came down with a cough that was pretty terrible and never got better and eventually turned into Bronchitis. It kept me out of work for 4 days! And knowing you are growing inside of me made it a little more challenging to treat as the medication is pretty limited. Even though fully approved by Dr., I’m still a little hesitant on taking medicine, especially when you’re going through so many major moments. Your heart started beating this week and your eyes, ears, kidneys, liver and lungs are are developing. I’m a little nervous one of these things will go wrong because of the meds. I’m also probably hyper-sensitive right now as your cousin Claire is just having a rough time. A couple days after she was born, they discovered a heart condition. She had surgery and it went well, but recovery hasn’t been smooth. Other things keep popping up which require more testing and nothing comes back positive, which is good, but also scary because it is hard to know why she isn’t getting better. I’m pretty scared for her and your Uncle Joe and Auntie Angie. I can’t imagine what they’re going through and don’t feel like I can do much to help. I’m also just scared for you. When you have two healthy kids like your big sister and brother, it’s hard to understand how many things can/do go wrong and how lucky you are when everything turns out OK. I pray you are healthy and there is nothing wrong with you and that I didn’t cause any harm to you (irrational thought, i know, but as you get older and learn more about your mom, you’ll learn I have many irrational thoughts everyday)

Love,

Mama

Dear Baby,

Well here we are, officially! I’m still in shock that this is really happening. You’ve kept me guessing every single day if you were really inside of me or not, but I finally bought a decent pregnancy test to get official confirmation. About a week ago, (4 days early) I took my first test because I just couldn’t wait and with William, I had taken one 4 days early and it showed positive. This one was a good no. Then on the day of my period I took another test as I had no indications of getting my period. There is a chance this one could have been positive but the line was so faint I couldn’t be sure. Knowing my cycle is a little shorter than average and that from time to time it can be a little longer than average, I gave myself another 2 days to see if anything was happening. This time I went and bought the expensive test that leaves you with no guessing as it reads ‘pregnant’ or ‘not pregnant’. Two long minutes later is read ‘pregnant’. When I showed your Daddy, he claimed, ‘I knew it–I don’t even think you needed to take the test, there was no doubt in my mind’. Deep down, I knew it too, but couldn’t let myself go there. I had felt nauseous on and off, my appetite is monstrous and felt a little more tired then normal.

That evening, Daddy and I had a good talk about what we’re going to do. Nothing solid in place, but have areas we’re going to explore that I think we both feel good about.

I called the Dr. today and made my next two appointments to see you! These next couple weeks are so hard for me. Not only do I know how crappy I’m going to feel, I really really hate keeping big secrets like this from everyone I know and love. I can keep a secret when I need to, but I really don’t like to. Thank goodness I can talk to you and Daddy–which is why I originally started this blog when I found out I was pregnant with your big sister Lexi.

Love,

Mama

 

Dear Baby,

It is too early to know if in-fact you really are a little babe growing inside of me, but I would bet over $100 that you are. My sense of smell is heightened. For example, if I don’t floss my teeth every night, I can small the plaque on my teeth–gross! I have also had a couple of other mommy-type symptoms that lead me to believe this is happening. Although you weren’t planned you weren’t unplanned either. You’re just going to meet us a couple months prior to when we thought.

I’m trying not to get ahead of myself, but there are so many thoughts running through my head. What are we going to do for childcare? Do we get a Nanny, do we find an in-home daycare provider? Does Daddy stay home with you? Do we get an au pair? Are you a little girl or a little boy? How is William going to do, he’ll be 2 years and 4 months–just a hair older than Lexi when he was born?

Thankfully, we’ll have some time to figure this stuff out.

Love,

Mama

My little (or not so little) love bug,

What a year this has been! You have tested me and forced me to dig deep within and build patience and have also double the size of my heart. I am so honored and proud to be your mom. You are smart and caring and goofy and affectionate and stubborn and creative and expressive and have a killer memory. Being your mom is by far my biggest accomplishment and brings me so much joy. I look forward to seeing your face light up and you wrap your gangly arms around me when I pick you up from school and that you request to snuggle with me every night before bed. I know these days won’t last forever so I do my best to soak it all in now.

Development at 4: You know all of your ABC’s (lower and uppercase) and almost all of the sounds they make. You’re starting to recognize sight words like mom, dad, dog and cat. You also keep everyone else in check. I was reading a story to you the other day and there was a picture of a gift and I told you it was a present and you corrected me and said, ‘no that starts with a ‘G’. That is a gift. Then, you were at Grandma’s a couple of months ago and there were some bubbles on the bathroom counter and she told you it was soap and you said, ‘No, there is a B on there and Bubbles starts with B’. You memorize short books pretty quickly. We have a a set of princess books that are about 4 pages each and you will sit down with them by yourself and ‘read’ them word for word. There have been several moments where I question if you have a pseudo-photographic memory.

You write your name like a champ (the ‘S’ gave you a run for your money for awhile) and are close to being able to write your last name without any help.

We’re starting to work on Math concepts like 1+1 and 2+2 and I think you kind of get it, but generally speaking you catch on to concepts taught to you in school much quicker than when I try and teach you. Maybe I’m a terrible teacher, but I just don’t think you have a whole lot of interest in doing that kind of stuff at home.

Personality

Lexi, you have grown so much over the last year. You love to laugh and be silly (especially with potty talk) and laugh with your brother. You love to give him hugs and genuinely want to be with him. For the first time ever this fall, you choose to stay home and play with William verses running errands with me. Your nurturing and affectionate. If Daddy or I aren’t feeling well, you’ll get blankets and pillows for us and will rub our backs and say ‘Its ok mommy, can i get you a popsicle?’

You are a rule follower and are quick to point out when someone isn’t following a rule and let us know how they are going to be punished. Just the other day, William was wearing his shoes on the carpet while he was waiting to be put into the van before school and you told him that Sparkle Minnie (the elf) was watching him be naughty and he wasn’t going to get any gifts from Santa. You like to play with others, but you also like your alone time. You’re still a little shy but have become much more comfortable in unfamiliar environments and with new people. You started swimming lessons and dance class without us and did awesome. You regularly check in throughout the class and give me a little wave or thumbs up but love both experiences.

With that said, you have developed quite a temper. You become completely irrational when we say no or you don’t get your way. There were several times this summer that I was driving and you were kicking and screaming and thrashing your arms so intensely that I had to pull over to calm you down because I genuinely thought you were going to break a bone. Small things will set you off, like not have any water in the car. Fortunately, those tantrums have dissipated over the past several months. However, it has been replaced with a very whiny voice and fake crying. I think you see William behaving like that and getting attention and you want it to. If he gets hurt and runs to be comforted, you’ll come running needing a hug and a kiss because your finger hurts.

You have started to just want to play with girls and pick up on stereotypical gender elements like girls like pink and boys like blue and the difference between ‘boy toys and girl toys’

Over the past year, you’ve really started to love playing games. We regularly play memory, hungry hungry hippos, hi-ho Cherrio and candy land and you’ll be getting several more for your Birthday and Christmas this year. You seem fairly indifferent to puzzles but LOVE to paint or color or do anything art project related.

You also really love to play with squinkies and legos. Your dad will build you logo houses for your squinkies and you are over the moon. These toys will keep you entertained for over an hour. You’ll just sit at a table and have little conversations with the different characters. Imaginative play in general has really taken off. You’ll have conversations with your stuffed animals or characters in your coloring book, you play house at school, or doctor. The other day, you came out of your bedroom with the stethescope around your neck and a little pad of paper and called ‘Bood? Is there a Bood Sampson here? It’s time for your check up. He continues to play with his toys and says, ‘no’ without any interruption. You also love to push/ride cars in the hallway with William or just chase each other. Swinging is a favorite activity for outside–but have told you, once you turn 4, you need to learn how to pump, no more pushing from Mom and Dad. You also really like to ride on your scooter and have gotten much better at your balance bike but are really too tall for it. Giraffe (or as you like to call him dit-dat) is still number one in your book. He sleeps with you every night and comforts you when you’re upset, but other than that you don’t carry him around everywhere you go anymore.

For most of the year, you continued to take naps everyday for about 3 hours, sometimes you would push 4.5 hours! However, over the last month or so, it is harder and harder to get you to nap. At school you nap for about an hour to an hour and a half. I’m a little worried about this as nap time is the time I usually carve out of the day for myself to relax. However, when you do nap, bedtime gets to be pretty late which is challenging.

You eat pretty much everything that is put in front of you. You love vegetables and fruit, rice, cheese, grains and you love love love your treats–especially, anything Ice Cream related.

I’m guessing you’re somewhere in the 42″ tall range and weigh about 40 lbs. You’re in size 5 clothes for the most part. It is pretty challenging to find you jeans that will fit you in the waist but are long enough. Thankfully, you hate any kind of pant that has buttons so we usually stick with leggings and you wear a size 11 shoe.

Other things about you at age 4, you love to go to the cabin and talk about going to the cabin. You love to play games on the iPad and watch YouTube. You want to watch the most ridiculous things on there like a person opening up Squinky toys, or someone building a lego set. You even watched someone mix paint colors together. I will never understand this but it is something you really like to do. Daddy allows you to do it more than I do, but no more than 1 a day. You also really like to watch movies (Frozen, Little Mermaid, Peter Pan, Inside Out, Finding Nemo, Rudolph, Frosty) and TV shows. Mickey Mouse is your favorite and you love to get up and do the hot dog dance at the end of each show. You’ll also watch Curious George and My Friends Tigger and Pooh.

Lexi, I am so proud of you. You are such a happy little girl and we could not have imagined to be blessed with a daughter as wonderful as you. I have a feeling a lot of changes are in store for our family this next year and am excited to see you grow through them. Happy 4!! Love,

Mama

Dear William,

The month started with Halloween. Although you were physically present for Halloween last year, his is kind of your first official one as you were able to go Trick or Treating. You got your first taste of it as we went to the ZooBoo! We walked through the zoo and there were lots of volunteers dressed up and companies handing out treats. You had a death grip on your pumpkin and wouldn’t let go of it for anything. Then on actual Halloween, you and sister dressed up as the cutest Micky and Minnie Mouse there ever was. (side note: your hat arrived in the mail that day–even though I had ordered it two weeks prior, made me sweat a bit!). At first, you were a little unsure of what to do, but big sister showed you ropes and you got the hang of ‘Trick or Treat’ and ‘Tank ow’ after a couple houses. Originally, the plan was to go around the block and drop you off with Daddy, however, as we were cutting through the yard, you were yelling ‘No home, no daddy’. We got in the house and you continued to throw a tantrum so we put on your boots (it was drizzly and everyone’s shoes were soaking!) and you came back out with Mommy and Lexi to continue trick or treating. You had the time of your life! You were so polite saying ‘Thank you’ after each house and loved the candy. You also really loved jumping off everyone’s steps. You would say ‘jump’ and then step down one foot at a time and giggle.

November was unseasonably warm (like 70 degrees several days!). We had lots of fun playing cars, having bonfires and even a picnic in the backyard in bare feet. So crazy not to need shoes or even a winter jacket.

One of the weekends, Grandma and Papa took Lexi to the cabin so it was just you mommy and daddy here for the weekend. You were lost without your partner in crime, but were extremely cuddly. Daddy and I weren’t feeling the greatest so we spent a lot of time on the couch and you would just climb up and snuggle in and stay there with us for 20-30 minutes. You’ve always been a little snuggler, but this weekend it was even more so and this mama ate it up.

Contrary to being super snuggly, you’re also pretty naughty. You regularly raise your voice and yell ‘No Mommy’ and swat your hand at me while stomping your feet. This usually lands you in a time out but it happens way to frequently in my opinion. There is lots of hitting and stomping that comes from that little body of yours and we need to teach out that it isn’t ok.

You’re very independent and want to do things on your own. When you do accomplish something your face lights up and yell ‘I did it!’ This happens when you turn off a light switch, take your shoe or sock off, stick two legos together, put toys away etc…

I mention this every month but your talking continues to improve. You are stringing more and more words together. ‘I did it’ ‘Com-on mama’ ‘i wuv you mama’ ‘no jammies’ ‘I do it’ ‘no da oder one’

Cars, trucks, planes are by far your favorite toys to play with and is pretty much the only thing you play with at school. Near the end of the month, it snowed a little and you loved playing in the snow and eating it. You like to dance and essentially just stomp one foot (i need to get this on video). You love to watch Thomas and Choo Choo Bob and Micky Mouse. You love to read the monsters book, Little Blue Truck, Trains and animals.

So crazy to think next month’s post will be on Christmas and I only have 3 more of these left for you. I love you so much my sweet William, Love, Mama