These last couple weeks before your arrival are a silent killer. The anticipation of your arrival is so exciting but so difficult. The notion that you can theoretically come at any point over a 6 week time period is hard. You don’t want to plan anything in case–but you also don’t want to just sit around and wait and drive yourself crazy.
My mobility at this point is pretty difficult. Standing up, walking, sleeping, sitting–there is no good position at this point. Lots of noises are made in any kind of transition.
Then tonight, I’m dealing with one of my first bouts of pregnancy insomnia. Thankfully, I haven’t dealt with this much–but it stinks. I just can’t sleep and what’s worse is knowing how tired I’m going to be at work tomorrow. Anyways, thought I would take advantage of the quietness of the house to capture of the non-stop thoughts about your arrival running through my head.
The constant change in how I’m feeling is so difficult. At one point, I’m so uncomfortable and feel so much pressure that I feel like your arrival could happen at any second. Then a couple hours later or maybe a day–I feel nothing as in I could be pregnant for another 2-3 months.
I also realize that I’m only 38 weeks pregnant and that I’m being inpatient and don’t have a right (on behalf of all overdue pregnant ladies) to feel this way. As of right now, I’m about 90% convinced that you will not arrive on your own and I’ll need to be induced. And if I’m being honest with myself, I’m about 50% OK with that. I had a great experience when I was induced with Lexi and really really want Dr. G to deliver you. The other 50% of me really wants to have that experience of going into labor naturally. In my mind, there is something fairly exhilarating about the adrenal rush that would come with that. Does my water break, timing contractions, determining when to call Grandma, determining when to go to the hospital–the unknown of that just seems a little exciting to me.
At the Dr. appointment earlier this week, I told Dr. G, I want to be induced on my due date (March 3rd) if you haven’t arrived by then. I’m torn on if I want to really do that or not. Part of my just wants to meet you and be done with it, and the other part wants to give you a couple more days to come on your own schedule. If you haven’t arrived by Friday, then I would be OK being induced. Regardless, I think I’m going to be done with work by my due date. I have some vacation that needs to get used and think I just want to be done. I’m going to take next Friday off and go to MOA to walk as it has been disgustingly cold here out (like -15 degrees with wind chills of -30, yuck!!) and have a fun family day by taking Lexi on a ride or two and seeing Lego land.
Come out soon sweet baby. Mama wants to meet you.
PS. Your big sister is excited to meet you as well. We were snuggling in bed the other night and she turns to me and declares, ‘Mama, I share girafee with sister’ which is her absolute favorite thing in the world and don’t believe she has gone a night without girafee for over a year and a half. You’re already so loved!